It is really a simple statement, one that in my home is our golden rule. Do no harm. No harm to yourself or others. No harm to people, animals and property. Do no harm.
I write this today after a friend told me about some sibling issues in her home. Like many of you, her kids act out when upset. Sibling squabbles become verbal attacks and oftentimes become physical. I have seen this too many times to count and often with terrifying and lasting consequences. So, I thought I would share this bit of parenting wisdom with anyone who has ears to hear.
Do no harm.
I decided years ago that the whole rule thing was just too hard to manage (i.e. I couldn't keep track of all the rules being made) so I decided to simplify, not sweat the small stuff and implement this little gem from the Hippocratic Oath. I began managing my four children based on this one simple rule. And here's the thing; it worked and continues to work to this day. Come into my home and you will not hear screaming and crying, you will not see hair pulling or slapping. You will meet four children who get along, because they simply have no other choice. Peace.
Do no harm. It seems to simple I know, but once you think about it, it covers just about everything that's important, words and actions alike and provides endless teachable moments. The added benefit? A peaceful and safe home.
Decide now what battles you really want to fight with your kids. The way I have used this as stated above, is as our golden rule. When your kid does something and you find yourself starting to make or quote some obscure rule, stop yourself and think, is this harmful? These are the offenses that receive punishment as above all else I want my kids to know without a doubt how to treat others and use sound judgement that will keep them safe. Yes, I get annoyed when they spill cola on my newly cleaned carpet, or don't immediately do as they are told, but they don't get grounded. If my kid stubbed her toe and blurts out an f-bomb she will be corrected, but if the same word is used in anger towards another she will loose all privileges and be forced to make amends.
The point? If you implement it make it count, make it meaningful and above all else, make it something they will live by for the rest of their lives. Do no harm.
Now, go get your glass of vino and run a bubble bath, because your home is under control.
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