To Write Love on Her Arms....

Girls Today...Sigh.

Actually, they really aren't all that different than we were. Sure, their music is different and comes on a playlist rather than a mixtape, but as people, not much has changed. There are still the girls who look impossibly perfect, and throw up at lunch time, the girls with acne and bit of extra weight, who suffer silently as they are not asked out, the girls who sit in the front of the class looking for validation and praise. Yep, same girls different day. Not much has changed in the 20 plus years since I have been a student, even the same catty cliques exist.

What HAS changed? The way we interact with our daughters, the way they interact with friends, with the world. While all of our voices are more easily heard round the world, it is also silent in this thing we call "real life". As I sit here typing this, my lips do not move, no sound escapes my throat yet it will be transmitted around the world when I press that beautiful little "Publish" button. Why this matters of course is that we as parents no longer have the daily experience of seeing how our kids interact with other kids.

I remember having to stand in the kitchen to speak to a boy or girlfriend who called. There I stood as the entire family overheard what I was saying, and from that I would be questioned after the call as to what was going on. There was no hiding, there was no privacy.  

While the above scenario was convenient, it is simply no longer feasible in this digital age. We as parents must reach out on a daily basis to find out what is going on, is our daughter well liked? Does she have friends to hang out with at school? Is she being left out of social events? Is she hurting? Is she being embarrassed or bullied? Does she cut herself or vomit? We need to know these things so that we can help them through, help them learn, help them teach others kindness and acceptance.

So with all of that said, I have a mission for you all. Friday, November 12th is "To Write Love On Her Arms" day. It's simple really. Before your daughter leaves tomorrow, take a pen, and draw a heart on the inside of each of her wrists and a small message such as "I am loved" or "I love you" inside the hearts. It is a simple campaign to not only let our daughters know we love them, but to explain to them that it is an opportunity for them to reach out to a girl they may know who is hurting or just needs an affirmation of love and acceptance.

Write love on her arms, and tell her to pass it on.

Dedicated to the memory of Brianna, 12 who took her own life and part of all of our hearts when she left this world.

"I HATE you!!!"

You hear it, your heart sinks and you find yourself on the verge of tears. Those three ugly words we as parents wholeheartedly expect to hear, yet silently pray they are never uttered.

I was prompted to write this by a girlfriend who posted today on FaceBook that her "tween"  screamed this at her for the first time today. Of course, all of her girlfriends came running to her virtual rescue giving hugs and saying "it's normal" and she must be doing something right to evoke such a response for her little darling. I on the other hand, take a different approach.

While it is normal for tweens/teens to "lash-out", what you as a parent do with it makes all the difference in the world. I will say this loud and clear... NIP IT IN THE BUD. As parents our primary function is to raise children into responsible productive adults, this cannot be achieved if your children think it is "OK" to speak this way to anyone, let alone an adult. Teach your children how to appropriately express themselves. "If you are upset with me, then say "Mom, _____ really upset me". Of course, in my not-so-humble opinion this conversation only addresses part of the problem, the second part is that the child is in most cases reacting to not getting what they want, something you need to stand firm on now so they learn the lesson that throughout their lives will resurface...You Can't Always Get What You Want. (Feel free to sing along).

Each family is different, and thus the way you handle it will be unique to your family. In our house, I introduce the "Week of NO". Mom can I have a...NO. Mom will you take me...NO. Mom can I go...NO. Mom will you buy me...NO. Explain this will last a week, then have a talk at the end explaining that you do all the little extra things you do for them because you love them. Talk about mutual respect, it's importance and how hurtful words can be. They will realize all that you do for them and how much they need and appreciate you. 


Now, go take that bubblebath you so richly deserve.

Sticks and Stones....

We all remember, thought we've tried to block it out. Mean kids, saying terrible hurtful things.Things that made us want to cry, lash out, or sometimes just curl up into a ball and cease to exist.

Those of you reading this managed to somehow make it through, yet every day kids do the unthinkable and end their lives, all because of words; unkind words. I would like to challenge each and every one of you to read a post, by a formerly bullied kid HERE and remember. Remember what it was like for you as a kid...Were you the bully? The bullied? The kid who shrank from confrontations lest they be directed at you? Remember, and share with your kids. I think a huge piece of this equation is letting our kids know that this IS survivable, that we understand, we've been there in one form or another and can relate. We know their pain and survived it. We know it sucks, and we know those kids who are so cruel will eventually be held accountable.

Go.....remember, share, and hug your kids extra tight tonight.

Oktoberfest Brauts....WOW!

I just made these for a poker party last weekend...fantastic is an understatement! 

 You will need:
1. 12 Johnsonville Beer Brauts (I cannot say enough about choosing the right brand! Change brands at your own peril!)
2. Foil pan
3. Beer
4. 1 onion, thinly sliced in rings
5. 1 or 2 bell pepers thinly sliced.
6. 1 TBSP sugar
7. 2 TBSP no salt season blend. (Just picked up a great one at Costco)

Brown the brauts on the grill (about 10 min) and transfer to your foil pan. Add enough beer to cover, then sugar and seasonings. Pile on the onions and peppers, cover with foil and let cook on the grill on LOW for about an hour (when you check it, move things around a bit) or until your beer is reduced by half and your veggies are well done. Serve. Inhale. Yum!

Bread...No, scratch that....FRESH Bread!!

There's just something about freshly baked, fragrant, soft chewy bread. You know; the good stuff. Restaurant quality goodness that if you try and buy it at the market is sold for an arm and a leg as "Artisan Bread". This happens to be one of the areas of the culinary expertise which has consistently eluded me. Seriously, up to this point, the results of my bread making efforts have been of the brick variety. So, being me I have decided to conquer this oh so terrifying aspect of my culinary repertoire. 

Yes, since this idea popped into my mind, it has become something of a mania...why you ask? Well, it all started last week when I was planning a simple dinner of grilled cheese and soup. As I began checking for items I would need before my trip to the market, I grabbed the full loaf of whole wheat bread on the counter,  (one of many) checking through the bag to make sure it was still good. No mold! Yay, one less thing I have to buy! I was just about to set it down and I noticed the little colored tag at the opening. The date was... OMG. This bread is almost a MONTH old! I opened it up and inspected it a bit more closely, no funny smell, no mold, still soft. My Gawd! I can only imagine what heinous chemicals they have added to this that it won't even molder after a month! Nope, not for my kids!

So after trying the whole kneading and sifting thing a few times while the kids were at school (had to make sure those merciless little midgets didn't witness my failure) I started looking for cookbooks. Found one! It has since arrived and I am positively blissful in my new ability to make fresh bread, without a bread machine, even with high altitude and even with my crappy oven.

The book is called, "Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day" and for once it is a truthful title (not including bake time of course). Basically, you make a load of dough in your mixer (No Kneading...I know, I think I just had a "food "O" typing that!), throw it in a tupperware, let it rise and then put it in the fridge. I can do that! When you want bread, grab a hunk of dough, shape it, let it rest a bit and bake.....beyond wonderful! I just made a different variety of dough today, and I will let you know how it turns out. Till then....I am in bread bliss with 3 loaves waiting to bake! Toodles.

I'm Here....Be Afraid.....

So with that warning in mind, welcome to my blog. Some of you have seen my other, more politically minded efforts on The Lipstick Politic this is for those who are, quite frankly tired of all the hairy BS that comes along with our nations political troubles...Sometimes, you just have to be a mom, and a Diva if you so choose. My personal preference is to mix it up a bit. For those of you who don't know me well, life with me can best be explained as, well, madness or perhaps, madness with style.

The name should explain it all. Given to me on our "Moms Behaving Badly" trip to Las Vegas. I am the woman who regularly wears a rhinestone tiara to clean my house (in my sweats of course). I am the woman who bakes her bread fresh, but buys her cheese pre-grated. I am the woman who smokes but will not allow processed food through my kitchen door. But enough about me, you'll get the gyst of me soon enough. That said....buckle your seatbelts ladies, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!